Im at strip club and am horny
i don't like sucking hair
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
