I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I need to sanitize my soul.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
