that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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