I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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