dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We don't watch enough power rangers
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
