Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
