Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize