You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
