dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Is Oprah even human
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
