shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize