It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
