I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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