very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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