I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
