Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
