They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
