I hate your face
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
