He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
...so i touched it.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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