That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
