Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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