I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
