Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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