I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize