Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
