You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
