There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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