Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He shit in the fireplace
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