Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
