awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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