Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
