When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
