we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Randomize
