your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
