Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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