My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
