RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
