Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
