I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
