I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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