Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
