God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
