I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
