so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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