Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize