You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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