so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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