Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
