Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
