Your tits are I can't wait for
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Randomize
