literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
