if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
