There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
