I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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