Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
