I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
