He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
