im gay
i know
yea but for you.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i've created a new STD.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
