is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize