I'm really into asian looking animals
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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