So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
